OK. That’s it. It’s eviction time. This baby has outstayed his or her welcome and now you’re desperate to go into labour. Are there any ways to start labour naturally at home? Your gran or best friend or work colleague has probably come up with some suggestions. What really works? Read on to find out more about inducing labour naturally.
Why do we go into labour?
There are lots of factors which seem to play a part in starting labour. Unfortunately, these factors work in differing amounts on different people. It is therefore impossible to give you a list of things to do which, once you’ve done them all, will start labour. I know this is frustrating. I wish it could be that simple, especially when I see ladies who are so very ready to see the end of pregnancy and meet their baby. However, I can tell you all the factors and you can see if any of them work for you.
Please do not attempt any of these ideas before your baby is ready to come out. This means not before you reach 37 weeks of pregnancy. Even if you are really fed up, you need to keep baby safe inside you until that point if you can so that they are ready to face the world when they arrive.
Factor 1: Pressure
Here’s where I start talking biology again. Those of you who are regular readers know that I like to explain why something happens, not just tell you that it does. Sorry. You can skip this part if you want to. For the rest of you, here is the physiology behind inducing labour naturally.
The bottom of your uterus is where your cervix is. Your cervix is the baby’s exit. It is the cervix which dilates and reaches that magical 10 centimetres everyone goes on about!
We have discovered (not me, but some very clever scientists) that putting pressure on the inside of the cervix, where the baby is, causes your body to release oxytocin. Oxytocin is the hormone which cause your uterus to contract. Contractions push the baby down onto the cervix. Pressure on the cervix causes more oxytocin to be released. This is an example of a positive feedback cycle and is the reason why you keep being told to stay upright!
So how do you make this reflex work for you? Here are some things to try:
Stay upright. Lying down or leaning back reduces the pressure on your cervix.
Try walking at a good speed, or bouncing on a birthing ball. These movements cause regular bumps to the cervix and can stimulate Ferguson’s reflex.
You can also try going up and down stairs sideways or doing some good bum wiggling!
Factor 2: Relaxing
I know what you’re thinking. You’re so uncomfortable and tired that you can’t relax. Perhaps your mind keeps going over what might happen and you’re worried about problems you might face in labour. These are very natural feelings. The problem is that all these feelings and overthinking can hinder labour.
You need to do whatever you can to stay relaxed. Our favourite hormone, oxytocin, doesn’t flow well when you are stressed. Have a look at the oxytocin vs adrenaline graphic below.
Ways to help you relax might include:
Taking time to pamper yourself. Read your favourite book, sing your favourite song, paint your toenails. Whatever works for you.
Trust your body. Look at how well your body has managed in pregnancy. Your body grew and supported a beautiful healthy baby all this way. It is designed to go into labour. It is designed to give birth.
Trust yourself. You are stronger than you know. You can cope with more than you think. Whatever happens during labour you will find ways to manage.
Don’t google it! The joys of the information highway can also bring some lows. Unfortunately people tend to share their negative experiences more readily than any positive ones. Don’t be tempted to read everyone else’s experiences. If some one starts sharing a bad experience, it’s OK to ask them to stop or to turn the page or click out of that site.
Surround yourself with people you trust. Choose birthing partners that are calm and positive. You need those who will encourage you when you are flagging and need a boost. Choose people who will stand up for you and what you would like if you can’t express it.
Factor 3: Oxytocin
As you can see from the points above, oxytocin is the key to inducing labour naturally. So lets looks at some ways you can increase the oxytocin levels in your body.
Oxytocin is known as the hormone of love. It is released at three main times.
When you have an org*sm (spelt this way to avoid website warning notices)
While you are breastfeeding your baby
When you have contractions in labour
Take a moment and consider the circumstances that usually surround this first instance of oxytocin release. I think I can assume that you are in a place that feels safe and secure. There probably isn’t a lot of busyness around you, and you are probably focusing on the matter in hand. You are likely to be with someone you love and trust.
Use those circumstances when you want to encourage labour. Don’t invite all and sundry to your house for a labour cheer along. Be close, be intimate, be relaxed. If you feel like it, try having one or more org*sms, with or without the assistance of another person.
Your breasts can also be stimulated to encourage oxytocin release. You could try hand-expressing, whether or not you have noticed any milk production over the last few days or weeks. If you get any milk flowing, you can keep it in a sterile syringe to give to the baby when they arrive. Massage is another great way to stimulate the breasts. Rubbing, rolling and tweaking are all options. See what works for you.
Things I don’t recommend for inducing labour naturally
There are other options you’ve probably heard of for inducing labour naturally. Curry or castor oil for example. The idea behind have a strong curry or a teaspoon of castor oil is to give yourself an upset stomach! I suppose people think that as your uterus sits next to your intestines, if we can get the intestines contracting and cramping, the uterus might follow. It might have worked for someone you know but it isn’t very common. Most of the time, the only thing that happens is that you get a lot of pain and discomfort, and spend a while in the bathroom! In my opinion it’s not a method that is reliable enough to be worth those side effects.
One more thing to try
It is definitely worth considering having a membrane sweep if one is offered to you. Read all about membrane sweeps here to find out how it could work for you.
Hopefully, one or more of the suggestions above will help you get into labour. Don’t leave just yet! Why not read the post on early labour here to find out what happens next and help with some coping strategies.
Raspberry leaf tea occasionally comes up in discussions with mums about labour and induction of (starting) labour. What is the big deal about raspberry leaf tea and will it really help you? Read on to find out.
First, a bit of biology. Try not to zone out, I promise to keep it simple and it will help you understand how raspberry leaf tea makes a difference.
The physiology bit
Your uterus is a muscle. As a muscle it is made up of lots of little muscle cells which all work together to contract. The muscle cells in the uterus need to work together to contract in a wave and help make the space inside your uterus smaller. This wave pushes baby down towards the exit.
The important point is that the muscle cells need to work together in a coordinated way. Think of a person trying to start a Mexican wave in a football stadium. If one guy on one side waves, but no one else around him does, no big wave happens. If two guys on either side try waving but aren’t looking at each other and those around them, you still won’t get a good wave.
A good stadium wave needs communication between everyone in the stadium. Everyone needs to be watching and they need to join in at the same time as those around them. When each person is watching those around them and moving in time with them, the wave moves efficiently around the stadium.
The same needs to happen with your uterine muscle cells. They need to work together and communicate with each other so that they coordinate their contraction with the cells next to them. This makes stronger and more effective contractions.
How does raspberry leaf tea help?
The amazing thing that scientists have discovered in recent years it that raspberry leaf tea seems to help your muscle cells communicate. Studies show that drinking raspberry leaf tea increases the number of gap junctions in your muscle cells.
Gap junctions are the communication channels between the cells. They spread messages from one cell to the next. Messages like ‘I’m contracting now. So should you!’. You already have gap junctions in your uterine muscles. The more gap junctions you have, the better the messages pass from one cell to the next. This may make a difference to improve the waves of contractions in your uterus.
Bring on the tea drinking!
The optimum time to start drinking raspberry leaf tea seems to be from about 34 or 35 weeks. This gives time for the gap junctions to develop ready for the end of pregnancy between 37 and 42 weeks.
Just one glass of raspberry leaf tea per day will make a difference. There is no need to drink 15 cups per day unless you really like it! Most women stick to a maximum of 3 cups per day. If you don’t like the taste of the tea, you can buy raspberry leaf tea capsules instead.
If you get any side effects, such as strong Braxton Hicks contractions, bleeding or nausea, please contact your local maternity services provider straight away!
Please be careful when using herbal remedies. Because they are not regulated in the same way as other medicines, the quality and concentration of the tea can vary between brands and between batches.
In conclusion, there may be a small benefit to drinking raspberry leaf tea towards the end of your pregnancy. However, the benefit seems to be in the coordination and efficiency of your contractions, not in making labour happen sooner. If you do not drink the tea, your body can and will still be able to go into labour, have contractions and deliver baby. It’s designed to do so, so trust it!
For more tips and tricks on making labour happen and coping when it does, have a look at the other articles on this site here.
Often the first sign of pregnancy, morning sickness can turn the most joyful news into an unpleasant experience. Don’t be surprised if you feel sick at any and every time of the day either. The hormones causing the sickness are a great sign but how do you handle them when some of those around you don’t even know you’re pregnant? Read on to find out what your options are.
Why you feel sick
As I’ve already said, morning sickness should more accurately be called pregnancy sickness because it can happen at any time of day. For some, it is the morning when they feel the worst, for others it might be the evening, and for some it can even last all day!
Some people just feel really really sick, while other will actually vomit. Neither is pleasant and both can really impede your ability to get on with your day. Unfortunately, sometimes if you tell your midwife about this she smiles! I’m not denying that midwives can be scary and unfeeling at times (mostly in labour when she tells you that you can have a baby but you think you can’t). However, let me explain why I am pleased when a woman tells me how sick she feels or how often she vomits during the day.
The physiology behind morning sickness
In the early days and weeks of pregnancy, the fertilised egg floats down into your uterus and finds a comfy spot to settle in. Once in that spot it wiggles itself in to the lining of the uterus. This lining is called the endometrium and is on average about 8mm thick. It is filled with gorgeous juicy tiny blood vessels.
The egg’s next job is to get itself linked in with you and your blood system. This means you can start feeding it all the oxygen and nutrients it needs to grow and develop into the baby. It does this by developing some of its cells into the placenta, the baby’s life support system. The placenta provides a link between your blood vessels and the baby’s circulation. To do this, the cells of the placenta have to alter the cells and blood vessels in your endometrium. This creates a large surface area for oxygen and nutrients to cross from you to the baby. Waste products like carbon dioxide can cross from the baby to you, so that you can get rid of them for the baby. This is the beginning of the rest of your life where you are tidying up after your child!
Where the hormones come in
The way the cells of the placenta alter your endometrium to make this essential interchange between you and your baby is by releasing hormones. Hormones like prostaglandins help to change the structure and purpose of cells so that they can do new things. As the placenta changes more of these cells and grows larger, it produces more hormones which again change more cells and increase growth. The speed of this growth phase of pregnancy is incredible! The placenta can be larger than the baby at this stage.
The presence of hormones is therefore an important sign that the pregnancy is healthy. The placenta is growing strong to support the developing baby. For many women, these hormones also make them feel sick or vomit. That is why your midwife might pleased to hear that you have morning sickness.
Levels or degrees of sickness
Every woman will experience sickness in a different way and even different pregnancies can create different levels of nausea in the same woman.
Feeling sick without being sick is one way that women can be affected. I’m definitely not saying this is the least or easiest way to experience pregnancy sickness though. Feeling sick without being able to be sick can mean the feeling stays all day, reducing your ability to eat and drink.
Feeling sick at certain points during the day and then vomiting is another way that those pesky hormones make your life horrid. Now, I am certain that none of us enjoy throwing up. Often though, you start to feel a little better once you have vomited and can get on with your day a little easier. You can sometimes manage to eat a little snack or meal and drink enough to stay hydrated.
For some women, sickness and vomiting is an all day experience. No matter what time of day it is, you feel dreadful and the slightest thing can have you retching. I’ve even known women who have to walk around with a bowl in their hand as the need to vomit can hit them at any time. If you can’t keep any food or drink down, you may have the most extreme form of pregnancy sickness, called hyperemesis gravidarum. For those of you in the UK, it’s what the Duchess of Cambridge suffered with at the beginning of her pregnancies. If this is what you are experiencing, please contact your midwife or hospital care provider, as you may need extra help that you can’t get at home.
For the rest of you, read on to find out what strategies and solutions might be available to you.
Managing morning sickness
Being pleased that your pregnancy is growing well does not mean I think that you should feel horrid for weeks! There are plenty of options for managing pregnancy sickness no matter how intense or debilitating it becomes.
The most important thing you must do is try to drink. Water may be best if the smell of tea or coffee makes you gag. Don’t drink a whole glass of water at once. Instead, drink little sips as often as you can. If you can’t manage sips of water, buy some ice pops. These are long sticks of frozen coloured water with some flavourings. If you can lick them they will help you keep hydrated. It might seem strange licking ice pops in winter, but sometimes that’s what you have to do!
If you can eat, stick to small carbohydrate based meals like pasta or potatoes. High fat food will make you feel worse. Plain toast or crackers are helpful. Having said that, don’t worry too much about your choice of diet at this point. Whatever calories you can get into you are good calories in my opinion!
If your sickness occurs in the morning, have a small snack before you venture out of bed to settle your nausea a little.
Some research studies find that eating ginger in various forms can help, so experiment with what makes you feel better. There are tablets, tea and biscuits forms of ginger available so you should find something that works for you.
Some people find that drinking fizzy or slightly flat previously fizzy drinks help when they are feeling sick. It may help to release gases and make you burp, making you feel less sick. If this doesn’t help you, don’t worry. Just try something different.
More recently, acupressure and acupuncture have been found to reduce nausea. Why not check for local trained practitioners near you? Some people find that wristbands sold as sea or travel sickness bands can be effective too.
Firstly, let me say that you should only take medication under the guidance of a doctor. My recommendations below are only here as suggestions. You must check with your own doctor to make sure you get the right medication for you.
You should start with tablet forms of anti-sickness medications. There are lots of different options, and I’m not going to list them here. I don’t know all the brand names for every country and don’t want to give incorrect information. If you need tablets, speak to your doctor.
Thankfully, there are lots of anti-sickness tablets that you can use. You can be on one, swap to another or have a combination of several of them. Always return to your doctor if they aren’t helping and try another option or additional type. We have now got many years of experience of using these tablets in pregnancy so we will only give you ones that are safe for you and baby.
If you are unable to take tablets or you vomit them up as soon as you take them, try taking them at a different time of day. Some women find they can’t eat anything first thing in the morning, but the afternoon is better. Take your anti-sickness tablets in the afternoon with whatever you manage to eat.
If there is nothing you can eat or drink and no time of day that you can take tablets and not throw up straight away, you need more help. Contact your doctor or hospital immediately. They will need to give you anti-sickness medication via a drip into your arm to settle things down enough so that you can start taking tablets. They will also probably have to give you some fluids this way too as you will probably be very dehydrated.
Where to go from here
Please remember that for most women, pregnancy sickness will ease off by about 10-12 weeks. You may need to confide in your boss and friends about your pregnancy before this. They will then be able to help you with time off work or childcare of older children.
Have a look at the resources page for some other helpful websites. One I really like is Pregnancy Sickness Support. This has great articles and even an online forum for those struggling with this issue. You can also look at the UK’s national guidance for health professionals treating pregnancy sickness here . Alternatively, you can view a patient information leaflet from the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists here.
Membrane sweeping or membrane stripping is often mentioned at the end of pregnancy as a way of starting labour. It certainly sounds rather uncomfortable but what does it really involve and does it actually make any difference? Here are the facts to help you decide whether membrane sweeping is the right choice for you.
First, the physiology of membrane sweeping.
The very bottom of
your uterus is called the cervix. The cervix sticks out slightly into the top
of your vagina. When you aren’t in labour the cervix is pointing around towards
your back rather than forwards directly towards the exit. This is good, because
it reduces the risk of infections and damage to the cervix from anything
entering the vagina.
The cervix is about
3cm long and has a firm consistency rather like the end of your nose. As it is
3cm long, it is like a tube with one entrance in your vagina and the other one
opening into the uterus where the baby is.
The body is really
clever and protects the baby from infection by filling this tiny tube with a
mucousy jelly which catches any nasty bacteria trying to enter the uterus and
cause an infection.
The baby is also
surrounded by a bag of waters which sits against the lining of the uterus and
protects the baby from infection, small bumps and jolts or pressure changes due
The purpose of membrane sweeps
Although we don’t
know lots about what starts labour, we do know that levels of natural
prostaglandins rise in your body when labour begins. We also know that putting
artificial prostaglandins up into the top part of your vagina can soften the
cervix and start opening it up. These artificial prostaglandins are used as
part of the induction of labour process at most hospitals when we want to start
labour for any reason.
prostaglandins can also be released by peeling the bottom part of the bag of
waters gently away from the wall of the uterus. This is known as membrane
sweeping or membrane stripping.
Research currently suggests that membrane sweeping can reduce the length of a pregnancy by about one week. This means women who have sweeps often go into labour earlier than they might have done without a sweep. If a sweep is successful, you are likely to go into labour within 48-72 hours of the process.
Policies differ between hospitals and care providers about when sweeps are offered and how many can be done for each woman. Please check with your midwife or health care provider for your local information.
The process of sweeping the membranes
membranes involves a vaginal examination. You will need to take off your
underwear and lie down on the bed, covered with a sheet. Partners are welcome
to stay with you, sitting at the head end of the bed and holding your hand if
The midwife or
doctor will ask you to bring your ankles together and your heels up towards
your bottom so that your knees bend. You will then be asked to let your knees
flop open to either side.
The midwife will
then insert two fingers of her gloved hand into your vagina using lubricating
jelly to reduce the discomfort. She will need to reach the cervix, so if it is
still pointing towards your back, she may ask you to put your hands into fists
and put them under your bottom. This tilts your pelvis and makes it easier to
reach a cervix that is pointing backwards.
When the midwife reaches the cervix with her fingers, she will try to put her finger through the tube of the cervix and into the uterus, where she will be able to feel the baby’s head through the bag of waters! She will then move her finger in a circular motion between the bag of waters and the wall of your uterus. When she does this, she peels the bag away from the wall which makes the body release natural prostaglandins.
What happens if membrane sweeping isn’t possible?
Sometimes, the midwife may not be able to reach the cervix. In other cases, the cervix may be so tightly closed that she can not reach through it to get to the bag of waters and sweep it away from the wall of the uterus. Unfortunately, we don’t know what we will find until we try. However, if the midwife can’t reach the cervix or through it to the uterus, giving the cervix and the area around it a gentle massage with her fingers may be helpful in softening and stretching the fibres of the cervix. This may make it more responsive to any tightenings or contractions you may have. It may also start the cervix softening so that in another few days the cervix is open enough to sweep the membranes.
After the membrane sweep
Once the examination is over, you may notice some heavier vaginal discharge, so it’s worth bringing a maternity pad with you to your appointment to wear home. You may also note a tinge of blood in the discharge. This is very common as when the midwife puts her fingers through the cervix it opens slightly more and small blood vessels called capillaries break. This bloody discharge should only be a small amount, so please contact your care provider if it seems heavy to you or you are worried.
It’s important to stay as upright and as active as possible after a membrane sweep. This pushes baby’s head down onto your cervix, which will already have been stimulated by the sweep. More stimulation will help your body produce more prostaglandins and start the hormone oxytocin flowing. Oxytocin causes contractions, which is exactly what we want! Perhaps try a good long walk, or bounce around the house on a birthing ball.
While you wait for the membrane sweep to work, why not read some of my other posts? You can find out my top tips for early labour here. The NHS website also has great information on induction of labour and choices when labour reaches 41 weeks. Read that here.
Welcome to the next instalment of my ultimate equipment checklist. This post covers all that you might need for bathing baby. You can find the full checklist here and follow the links on that page to the other posts covering other equipment categories.
There are several options for baby baths. Most people start with a basic baby bath tub, which enables you to do the bathing in any room in the house. You simply move the tub to the room you choose. You can get small simple tubs or ones with integrated seats or supports to help keep baby in position.
I can not emphasise enough that you should never rely on a bath seat to support baby in a bath. They can slip or fail and baby could end up under the water. Never ever leave a baby unattended in the bath even for a second. Ignore the phone and door or remove the baby from the water and wrap them in a towel. After that, you can put them in a safe place like a Moses basket before you leave the room.
As baby grows and is more able to sit up in the bath, you might like to try a bath seat to support them. You should still not leave them unattended in the seat.
There are also bath dividers available which can be useful if you don’t want to buy a smaller baby bath tub. These fit into your existing bath so that you can just fill a portion of it. As a result, you save water and filling time. It also means that toys can’t float so far away from little one during play!
These are brilliant for drying baby after the bath. The hood keeps precious warmth from escaping from little one’s head. Their shape also makes swaddling much easier.
I would always recommend using two towels to dry the baby to start with. That’s because you might be a little slower at putting on the nappy and dressing them when they are new and small. In order to keep baby as warm as possible, dry them off with one towel first, then throw that in the hamper and use a fresh dry towel to wrap around baby while you dress them.
Small washcloths or flannels can be helpful for washing baby in much the same way that you would use it on yourself. It holds water, so you can wet all the areas of their skin and their hair. It also offer a little more friction than just using your hands, which can be helpful in the early days. That’s because in the first six weeks after birth we recommend that you don’t use any skincare products on baby, no matter how many midwives might use them, according to their adverts!
Baby’s skin is very sensitive and adjusting to being in the outside world. It has to develop a set of normal healthy bacteria and acids. If you use anything other than plain water you risk disrupting this developing balance and this may be linked to increases in eczema and other skin problems. Once the baby is 6 weeks old, you can begin using skincare products. I will be writing another post on newborn skincare shortly, so look out for that for more information.
Baby shampoo or bubble bath
As I’ve mentioned above, for first six weeks after the birth, the recommendation is to avoid products for skin care. Instead, use plain water and a washcloth to gently rub at any mess, particularly in their hair. I know that some of their messes, including in their first nappies, can be hard to wipe off in one go. It will come off with gentle repeated strokes of wet cotton wool pads though!
One of my favourite mum tips I’ve stolen from a friend is really helpful if you just want to use water for the first six weeks rather than baby wipes or water wipes. Buy a tube of cotton wool pads, like the ones you would take eye makeup off with. They come in this plastic bag which you can fill with water and squeeze out again. As a result you are left with a tube of damp cotton wool pads, so when it comes to changing nappies, you don’t need to go and find some water in a bowl. Plus, you haven’t paid out for baby wipes or put all those chemicals on baby’s skin! Win-Win for everyone!
When those first six weeks have passed you may want to start using baby products like shampoo or bubble bath. There are plenty of choices out there. I find the lavender scented ones can be really soothing and help babies wind down to sleep.
Brush and Comb
While it’s true that many babies come out with very little hair, some actually have long hair, even in the early days. If you need to brush out any mess that is in it, I would recommend a baby brush or comb as they have much softer bristles.
Keeping the water temperature right when bathing baby is something lots of parents worry about. I would recommend testing it by dipping the inner side of your wrist into it. If it feels too hot, then cool it down with cold water. If you would prefer a specific reading and visual guide then invest in a bath thermometer. They float on top of the bath water and show exactly how warm the water is, giving a colour coded measurement for you to easily understand.
I have another useful tip when it comes to filling baths and keeping baby safe if you don’t have a mixer tap. Always start by filling the tub with cold water. Put the hot water in after this to raise the temperature. This ensures that if you are called away before the bath is fully filled and someone else thinks they are being helpful by putting the baby in the water for you, it’ll just be uncomfortable for baby rather than burning!
Babies are born with amazing fingernails! It always fills me with awe and wonder that they are so perfectly miniature. Unfortunately they can be very sharp and when babies are still learning that they have control over their arms, hands and fingers, their own nails can scratch their little eyes and faces.
Every parent will recommend a different technique for trimming baby’s nails, which could be a god thing, as you know you’ll find something that you feel comfortable doing. There are ordinary nail scissors or baby nail scissors, which are smaller and have a larger body for stability. Some parents say they use their teeth to bite off the nails, or roll off the excess nail when the nails are soft from the bath. Another tip from another mum friend of mine is to use a nail file, which fits onto your finger like a thimble. It’s called a thumble, and you can see it here.
Baby Lotion or Cream
As I’ve mentioned above, for the first six weeks while the skin is adjusting, it is best to avoid baby products. However, once you’ve past that point and the skin has settled and developed its natural bacteria/acid balance, lotions and creams can be great. You can use them during baby massage or just after bathing baby. They can help keep skin soft and somehow enhance that magical ‘baby smell’ we all secretly love!
Bath Toys and Storage
At some point when baby gets a little older, they will really enjoy baths and having some toys to play with can be brilliant fun. However, since this won’t necessarily be for the first few weeks, this section can definitely be one where you can wait to see what gifts you might receive before you spend your own money on them. Just remember that as with most of your life, your bathroom will eventually be overrun by baby stuff, so planning some sort of toy storage is a good idea!
I want to let you in on a secret. It’s one that the press and social media and even your friends don’t want to tell you.
Sometimes pregnancy sucks.
You might be looking at all these stylised photos and posts telling you how wonderful women are finding their pregnancy. They describe how they feel as if they are glowing and finding fulfilment and a new purpose.
If you read those posts and feel inadequate or upset by them, you are not alone! I can’t tell you the number of women who come into my clinic each week feeling tired and exhausted and fed up and very unglamorous!
They have aches and pains in very private places, they can’t sleep and can’t eat and are too exhausted to do more than crash on the sofa after work. Some of them are physically sick every day well beyond the expected 12 weeks. For some, migraines sometimes get better during pregnancy but sometimes they get much much worse. Other women develop crippling pelvic pain which leaves them on crutches for weeks until the baby is born. Still others suffer with heightened levels of anxiety and fear over the what if’s and unknowns of pregnancy, labour, birth and parenthood.
The problem these women face is that society expects them to be glowing. It expects them to be radiant and smiling and excited. Society might make you think that any other reaction to pregnancy makes you a bad mother.
Things to remember
A miserable pregnancy does not automatically lead to a miserable life as a new parent. You will probably feel a whole lot better once you aren’t carrying 8 to 15 pounds of extra baby and placenta around inside you.
Any feelings of frustration or dread don’t mean that you don’t or won’t love your baby. It simply means that pregnancy is hard for you, and that’s ok to admit.
There are things your midwife or health professional can do to help you. Don’t suffer in silence for fear of judgement. What you feel is valid and won’t be the first time they’ve heard someone struggling with pregnancy.
What you can do
Talk to someone you trust. It might be a close friend or family member you know had a difficult pregnancy themselves. Sharing your feelings enables people to encourage and reassure you that everything will be alright.
Speak to your GP or midwife. If you have sickness, pelvic pain, migraines or some other physical symptoms, they may be able to suggest treatments for you. If you are struggling with anxiety around your pregnancy, birth or parenthood, they can refer you to local counselling services where trained professionals can guide you through the anxiety to find your calming and coping strategies.
Take time to rest and give yourself some grace. You don’t have to live up to society’s expectations and post a glowing selfie every day! Just getting out of bed might be a major success for you, so celebrate it!
Keep your eyes on the prize! However hard this pregnancy might be, focus on the baby and your parenthood to come. It will be worth it. They say parenthood is the hardest job in the world, which I definitely agree with, but it is also the most rewarding. There are so many stages to look forward to. If you aren’t keen on newborn babies, that’s ok. You might feel more confident looking after children when they reach the toddler stage. I promise that time will fly and that favourite age you like most will be here in no time!
It’s a very exciting time. Your best friends or favourite relatives have just had a baby and you want to spoil them silly at this special time. A hug from the newborn might be fun too! New parents often find the first few days and weeks with baby difficult. Here are my suggestions for gifts you can offer, to help them at this amazing and sometimes overwhelming time.
This might not be something you can buy in a shop but it is definitely the most important gift of all! You need to remember that new parents might have had very little sleep, rarely get a chance to shower and really don’t want to think about housework.
You need to be honest about your relationship with the new parents and your reasons for wanting to visit or help. If they are really close friends and family where you share everyday life and see each other unshowered and in pyjamas regularly, unannounced visits might be fine. If not, your unscheduled visit is likely to cause more hassle than joy.
New parents might need to sleep during the day if baby was awake all night. They might want to spend what awake time they have holding their own baby, rather than cooking or cleaning in preparation for your visit. Alternatively, they might actually really appreciate someone holding the baby for them while they shower or eat or vacuum.
The key is be flexible in your visiting schedule and expectations. A pre-planned visit might not be possible after an unplanned night without sleep! Ask what the parents would appreciate most – someone to clean the toilets, a volunteer to play with older children or a baby being held while they shower and dress.
A new parent has a lot of questions about their new life. Books that might answer some of those questions may be really appreciated. Perhaps try some humorous ones for when they are at the end of their tether, or informational ones that might explain baby development and milestones. One of my favourite books is ‘Your Amazing Newborn’. It explains the vast abilities of babies to recognise shapes, colours, faces and voices. It’s brilliant for new parents who want to learn more about their baby and bond with it through games like pulling faces and singing.
Honestly, I think every parent should invest in one of these. Babies often start life thinking that day is night and night is day. As a result, new families often need to catch up on sleep during the day and an unexpected delivery man or neighbour might not realise their visit is poorly timed. One knock which wakes the dog, who wakes mum, dad and the baby can really ruin their rest! Find a pretty sign on pinterest or create your own to stick on the door, politely asking people to come back at another time or leave the parcel with a neighbour.
All new babies take a lot of time, and homemade meals are not always easy to fit in to the schedule. When you are already cooking for your family, can you make an extra couple of portions to freeze? If you take that ready cooked meal to the new parents, it will make their day! For those with enough freezer space and generous friends they may not need to worry about meals for a couple of weeks.
If you have a good relationship with the new parents and their children, could you offer to babysit the older children? Perhaps you could take them to the park or just to your house to play with your kids. That might allow the parents to get some rest. Maybe the parents would appreciate it if you offered to hold the baby while they play with their older children. This helps those older siblings who feel confused and upset by the amount of parental time and attention the new baby takes from them.
Any help in this category definitely enters you into the great friend hall of fame! Whatever you feel able to help with will probably be appreciated. You could clean or vacuum for them. You could even take a load of laundry and ironing home and return it ready to be hung up or folded and put away. For those active animal lovers, there is the opportunity to walk the dog. If you’re already on your way to the shops, send a quick text to ask if they need anything. It would be even more amazing if you were able to do their whole grocery shop for them. Just as long as they give you their list with preferred brands!
Sometimes, especially after the first couple of weeks, a new mum can feel isolated and stuck on the sofa with a cluster feeding baby. Their partner may be back at work. Most visitors have had their baby hug and gone on with their lives. Some mums might really appreciate you spending time with them. Having an adult conversation, even if their brain isn’t working clearly due to sleep deprivation, can be wonderful. A listening ear and reassurance that they’re doing a great job really helps when they are worried they’re not a perfect parent.
Have you ever noticed that a first baby has lots of photos taken every day? Unfortunately with the subsequent siblings the number of photos decreases significantly. Those cute cards you can place next to baby declaring their first smile or their 10th week are really only used for baby number one. Intimate family photos are not so easy with more children especially in the midst of life’s commitments.
If you know you have some pretty good photo skills, why not take some natural family photos for them? You could catch them doing normal life things like cooking whilst juggling a newborn and a toddler, or giving the baby a secret smile. These photos will be so precious to the family later on as they might be too busy just keeping up with life to take photos themselves. You can send them on to the parents as soon as you’ve taken them. You could even create a photo album online to give as a present!
If parents have to spend a lot of time in the middle of the night feeding or changing the baby, they may appreciate some entertainment options to keep themselves amused. Why not buy them a subscription to a video streaming service so that they can watch the latest movies or TV epics while the little one feeds? You could also try an audiobook subscription and add a quality pair of wireless headphones to make it extra special. For the avid readers, what about an ebook subscription and device to read them on?
So there we have it. A selection of really useful gifts for new parents. Many of them cost very little but will make a huge difference to the family. Have you got any other suggestions, or ideas you wish someone had done for you? Let me know in the comments below!
One of the worst experiences a new parent faces is when their child is ill. You worry that it may be incredibly serious and get so frustrated that you can’t seem to make them feel better. If you are worried about your child’s health, please contact a medical professional as soon as possible. Once you have be reassured by them, you may find the supplies below helpful in managing the symptoms of common colds or other minor ailments in babies.
Did you know that babies are born without knowing how to sniff? Whilst you and I sniff almost without thinking when our nasal passages are blocked, babies don’t have this option. Because of this, they sneeze more often than we do. While this might be worrying, most of the time it is a normal response to a stuffy nose.
You can make it easier using saline drops. These drops of simple salty water come in a handy squirty pack. You simply squirt it up each nostril and the drops will flush out any gunk that is stuck there.
Although saline drops can help, the most effective way to get rid of build up in baby’s nose is to use a nasal aspirator. These little things involve a small tube which you pass gently into the lowest part of the baby’s nostril. Don’t try and force the tube a long way up as that could cause damage. The other end of the tube goes in your mouth and you suck – yes, suck – out any debris that is in there. In years gone by, you only had ordinary tubes but thankfully now you get a filter placed in the middle of the tube. This prevents any mess being sucked out of baby’s nose and getting into your mouth! Certainly a win for technological advances!
If you’ve heard of Vicks Vapour Rub, then you’ll understand when I explain that Snuffle Babe is the same thing, but designed for babies. This makes it safe to use from 3 months. It is a decongestant and includes eucalyptus oil and methol. Consequently, it can be really useful for helping baby breathe more easily when they have a cold. It is a little less powerful than Vicks so that it doesn’t overwhelm little ones.
You can put a small layer onto their chest or back, although lots of parents feel more comfortable putting it on their baby’s feet. Once you cover their feet with a pair of socks, you reduce the risk that your baby will transfer it into their eyes.
Vapouriser / Humidifier
Another great tool for babies with colds is humidity. You can buy fancy vapourisers or humidifiers from many stores. These have a reservoir of water which is gently heated to evaporate and increase the water content of the air. The idea is that the air with an increased water content helps to soften and clear out any nasal secretions and soothe coughs. The great thing about vapourisers or humidifiers is that some have the option of adding a soothing aroma to the water. Adding lavender oil may be really helpful if your baby is struggling to sleep.
However, as promised there is a much cheaper option for those on a budget, and you already have what you need in your house! Your secret weapon is your bathroom or shower room. Simply take baby into the room and run a really hot bath or shower. It can be really hot, as you aren’t going to be bathing or showering baby. You just need to get the room really steamy. Simply sitting with little one in your arms for a while in that environment will help to clear out any congestion they’ve got. You might also find the kitchen gets steamed up when you are cooking or boiling the kettle. This steam is just as effective, and you might feel you are being more productive in cooking and helping baby at the same time!
Babies often struggle to bring up any wind after they’ve fed. This wind is extra air they take in while they are swallowing their milk, and can happen no matter how they are feeding. Please don’t listen to anyone who tells you that breastfed babies don’t get wind. They do, especially if they are a quick feeder or your milk supply let down is fast. Wind can also be cause by poor digestion when baby struggles to break down the milk in their stomach.
This trapped wind causes pain as it gurgles in their tummy. While some babies can burp it out without any problems, others will push it through their digestive system and out into their nappy. Others can’t move it either way very well. These babies are often very unsettled after feeds, and don’t want to be put down flat. Some will pull their legs up towards their tummies, while others will arch their backs with the discomfort.
I’ve written a post about helping babies to burp and the various methods I use to help even the stubbornest bit of wind to escape. You can read that post here. However, sometimes you need a little extra help in the form of colic relief products.
Products that may help
There are various products which all work in slightly different ways. Unfortunately I don’t know which one will work for you and your baby. That’s why it might be sensible to have a couple of options ready in your health supplies kit. Traipsing out to the 24 hour supermarket at 3 am because your baby is in pain isn’t much fun!
There are two main ways that colic relief products work. Some provide an enzyme to break down the milk so that it is easily digested and doesn’t create wind. Others work by releasing bubbles of trapped air in the baby’s stomach so the wind rises to the top and can be burped out.
There are three main options for colic relief drops, and every baby responds differently to them. If you check them out on Amazon, there is always one review which says ‘this didn’t work for my baby’ amongst the hundreds that say ‘this was a lifesaver’, whichever product you look at. Go and have a look yourself and decide what works best for you. You may decide that getting one bottle of each will cover all possibilities. Alternatively, you may go for one you’ve heard of or that your friends or family have recommended.
A paracetamol based pain killer such as Calpol is a staple ingredient of every parent’s medicine cabinet. It is a liquid form of paracetamol which can be given to babies via a syringe. It also tastes like strawberries or blackcurrant, which makes it easier to give to little ones.Whether you have a child with a cold or a headache or a sore finger, a pain killer is essential for those little discomforts that your medical professional has reassured you about.
Follow dosage instructions carefully and if you see no improvement after the child has had the medicine, seek further guidance from your doctor before trying another dose or different drug.
Ibuprofen also comes in a liquid form and can be used if your child does not have asthma. Don’t use both at the same time unless told to do so by a medical professional.
When giving your baby or child a drug they have never had before, such as Ibuprofen or Paracetamol, please be very vigilant for any signs of an allergic reaction. This might include swelling or a rash and in extremely rare cases, difficulty breathing. If you notice any side effects please contact a medical professional immediately.
Also, keep all medicines out of reach of little hands that might be exploring!
Another essential piece of equipment for every parent is a thermometer. Thermometers enable you to accurately check your baby’s temperature and ensure you take the right action. For example, a temperature up to 37.9 degrees Celsius (100 degrees Fahrenheit) may be safely treated at home with paracetamol if there are no other concerns. However, any temperature above this needs to be assessed by a doctor, so you should attend your nearest emergency centre.
Please note you may need to seek medical advice if a child is unwell even if their temperature is less than 38 degrees Celsius (100 degrees Farenheit). Use your own judgement and consider any other symptoms. Above all, trust your instincts! A doctor would rather see you and little one and reassure you than have you stay at home when your baby needs their care.
There are many different ways to measure a baby’s temperature. You can use their ear, their forehead, their underarm, their mouth or their rectum!
I recommend sticking to either their ear or forehead.
Underarm readings can be inconsistent as you have to place the probe in the dip under their arm and hold their arm down whilst it reads, which isn’t as easy as it might sound. Readings from oral thermometers may be altered depending on whether little one has just drunk or eaten something hot or cold. Rectal measurements are not only uncomfortable but also risk injury to the baby if inserted too far or if you slip whilst holding it in place.
Babies have very sensitive skin and cots and prams should be placed out of direct sunlight if possible. However, sometimes a little sunshine is unavoidable and it is best to have sun screen on hand. Even on less sunny days, your baby’s skin may need a barrier in case the sun pops out as you’re on your way to the park. Keep some sunscreen in your bag to ensure your baby is fully protected.
So there you have it, my slimline recommendations for baby’s first aid kit. Do you have any other suggestions or ‘must-have’s’? Leave me a comment below!
It’s time to talk about leaving the house! For many new mums, this seems like a massive step which takes military precision to accomplish. It’s not unusual to make it out of the house several hours after your originally intended time. As part of my ultimate baby checklist series, here are my equipment ‘must haves’ to make getting out and about easier.
Unless you live in central London you’re probably going to need a car seat. Even if you do live in central London and don’t have a car, car seats can still be useful. They are helpful for transporting baby between venues, including on the tube or train or other public transport.
There is plenty of guidance available on car seats and ways to keep your baby safe. Read the brilliant Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents website here for all you need to know about current UK laws and regulations.
Unfortunately, I don’t think this is an area where you should buy second-hand. You may be told that the seat you are buying has never been in an accident or had a fault, but you don’t have a guarantee of that. By buying a new seat, you know that it is structurally sound and have a manufacturer’s guarantee.
However, there are a lot of fancy seats and travel systems out there that are more bells and whistles than substance. You don’t need to buy something that costs more than your first car!
My favourite car seat on the market is the Doona. Visit their website here.
These gifted and brilliant people have figured out a way to integrate wheels into your car seat. It makes travelling with baby so much easier! You lift baby’s seat out of the car and don’t have to spend hours unpacking the boot to get out a separate wheeled base.
The integrated wheels means a quick conversion from car seat to stroller when you get out of the car, then another quick change from stroller to car seat if you have to climb stairs. It also frees up lots of space in the boot of your car for those trips to relatives you have to make or the normal supermarket shopping trip.
The price is pretty fantastic too and you can get extra add on’s like storage accessories, insect nets and rain covers. Everything you need in one neat little well-priced package! Yes, you will need to buy a car seat base as well as the seat itself. This is about £130, which still makes the whole package extremely good value for the flexibility of the product. It is a category O+ seat, so is suitable from birth to 13kgs, which is about 12-15 months old.
Having mentioned my love of the Dooma car seat, which transforms into a stroller, I have to admit that I don’t think a pram is necessarily essential. If you decide to buy one, I would still recommend buying new to avoid any worries over undeclared damage or faults. It’s also really important to check how easily it folds and make sure that it and it’s wheeled base will fit in your car. For that reason, you may want to go in store to check these things first, then you can either haggle for a great deal or walk away and buy online to save yourself some pennies.
Sling / Carrier
Baby wearing is a contentious issue for some mums. I believe it can be a wonderful way to bond with your baby and make life that little bit easier to maintain when your little one wants to be close to you. Please make sure that you read the safety guidelines below and apply them every time you put your baby in a sling or carrier.
Getting out and about is so much easier if you have a hand or two free. This is where slings and baby carriers can come in very handy! There are lots of different styles to choose from. You can make your own with fabric or buy ready made fabric or more fitted, shaped designs.
Simple fabric ones can be easier to store and transport when not in use, but sometime require a bit of origami style fabric folding to get the baby in to them! Others have easier clips and belts that make getting baby in and out easier, but they can end up being bulky.
If you get a chance, try and find a local sling group before you buy. These groups allow mums to swap slings and try out different ones to find out what works for them and their child at whatever stage of life they’ve reached. It’s also a great way to meet new friends!
Car Window Sun Shade
Travelling in sunny climes with little ones can be wonderful. However, if the sun gets into children’s eyes they can find it uncomfortable and they may wake if they were previously asleep. Adding a window shade to the car can reduce the glaring sun as well as protect little one from any harmful UV rays.
For many years, parents have been using suction cups to attach shades to windows, which is really straightforward. These kinds of shades come in all sorts of sizes and shapes to fit various window sizes. They can also have pictures of cartoon characters or cute animals for your child to look at.
However, we now have alternatives which can make life even better. There are some newer styles of shades which fit over the door itself. This enables you to open the window with the shade still in place. It also prevents any tiny fingers from pulling the shade off over and over again as part of a new and apparently exciting game!
Car Seat Mirrors
Driving with children in the car can be stressful for everyone. It’s sometimes hard to concentrate on the road, when world war seven is breaking out in the back seat! Luckily, someone has figured out how to help you monitor those back seat brawls without having to turn around and take your eyes off the road.
Buying a rear seat mirror is a very good investment. For rear facing baby car seats there are lots of inexpensive mirrors which tie around a back seat headrest to show you little one’s face. There are also mirrors you can fit under the main rear view mirror which enable you to see the full back seat and all those sibling squabbles!
Having a new baby always means more travelling. Family and friends can be many miles away and having maternity leave often helps make travelling to see them more feasible. If it has been many years since those friends or family have had small children of their own, you will probably need to take a travel cot along with you.
Usefully, travel cots can be playpens too, if you aren’t confident letting baby loose in a strange house. They can be pretty reasonably priced if you would like the flexibility of having your own. However, if you aren’t expecting to do a lot of travelling, it might be worth just borrowing one from a friend if and when you need it.
Apparently the latest fashion accessory, this will be your lifeline when getting out and about with baby. You can keep all the essentials in it so you can handle any surprises your baby has in store for you. I’ll spend another post discussing what to put into your bag. For now, why not explore the various options out there. They range from short handled handbag styles, to backpack types. There is something for everyone.
Options to consider: a fold up changing mat included – to make nappy changes on the move easier; waterproof or removable lining – there will be spills!; lots of compartments to keep things organised; fewer compartments to keep things simple; shoulder straps or backpack styles to keep your hands free; pram or stroller clips to attach the bag to the stroller.
So there you have it. My equipment suggestions for your new baby’s travelling comfort. Don’t forget to comment if there is something you think I should have included or if you have any tips on great products out there.
Here we go. You’ve read my Ultimate Baby Equipment Checklist, but don’t quite understand why I’ve included some things and not others. Perhaps you’re intrigued by my promise that all this stuff doesn’t have to cost the earth or could be done using stuff you already have. Well let me explain myself more thoroughly.
This is the first of several posts where I break down my ultimate checklist into smaller chunks. I’ll add the links to the others as I’ve written them. We’ll start here with the nursery.
Read the post on equipment to help you when you are out of the house here.
**This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase from one of my links, I may receive a commission or credit at no additional cost to you. For more info, please read my disclosure policy.**
A Moses basket or crib is simply a smaller version of a cot. It’s a safe flat bed to place baby in when they need a nap. It is a lot more portable than a full sized cot, so you can move it around the house. It is great if you want to put baby down to sleep while you do some housework or have a coffee, but don’t want them far away in their cot in your bedroom.
There are lots of different styles of Moses basket. Some have stands so they are off the ground. Some have rocking stands which might be useful if your baby likes movement to settle them. Just be careful with the rocking style as older siblings or pets might get their feet, fingers or paws trapped. They might also start rocking the baby by mistake which could wake them when you’ve just got them settled!
Whichever design you decide to go for, I wouldn’t recommend spending a really big amount on this. Babies often outgrow their Moses basket very quickly so it isn’t a long term investment. You could even try finding a second hand basket on Ebay, which will save you some pennies. If you decide to do this, please do buy a brand new mattress for the Moses basket even if the second hand one comes with it. There are certain stains and things you don’t want to share with a previous owner!
A cot is an essential item and here I do recommend buying new if you can. That is because you know that every new cot sold has to meet the current safety standards. If you buy a second hand cot, you might not know when it was manufactured or if it has a fault. More information on cot and sleep safety can be found here at the Infant Sleep Information Source.
The recommendations to reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) include the baby sleeping in their parent’s room for their first six months. It is worth buying one which is height adjustable. That means that as little one gets bigger, you can drop the base of the cot to reduce the likelihood that they can climb out. It also means that in those early days, you don’t have to strain your back lifting little one up or down quite as far. You can even buy cots that can be converted into beds for toddlers. That saves you the expense of replacing it with a separate new bed.
You may want to consider a co-sleeping style cot for the early days. These are designed to attach to the side of your bed, making it easier for you to reach baby when they need you at night.
Whether you decide to buy a second-hand cot, or you are reusing the cot your older child had, please buy a new cot mattress for each new baby. Make sure that the size of the mattress fits your cot, leaving no gaps around the edges which could trap or hurt the baby. Also, makes sure it meets all current safety standards. This should be stated in the seller’s paperwork or website.
Don’t believe what your local department store baby section says. You don’t need a specific baby furniture suite with fancy wardrobes and drawers and cabinets etc. A standard set of drawers or a dresser is really all you’ll need to start with.
I promise that your baby won’t mind if it isn’t white with pictures of cartoon animals on it. You can buy second hand and upcycle it if you prefer.
When getting heavy furniture for the nursery, please make sure you buy and fit some wall anchors. This prevents the drawers falling onto baby if they pull on them. Our favourite Swedish furniture store has some tips on anchoring furniture here.
To start with I would go for something with plenty of drawers. That way you can have one drawer for vests, one for babygrows, one for hats and socks, one for cardigans and jackets etc. You won’t be folding stuff neatly and even if you do, a middle of the night scramble for a new babygrow will undo all that hard work!
I’m a bit of a sucker for the Ikea Kallax range, as you can be quite unique and inventive in the style of drawer inserts you choose. The drawers are also deep, which is good for all those extra clothes you’ll get as gifts!
Changing areas can be fancy or simple. You can have a specific changing station which has a place to hold your bowl of water and drawers to hold your nappies and wipes.
You can manage just as well with a simple changing mat that you can place on the floor or on top of your bed or dresser.
I would recommend a changing mat as a minimum. Some mums like to simply change their baby’s nappy whilst the baby is lying on their bed. Unfortunately, a projectile poo can mean you have to change your entire duvet set at 2 am. I wouldn’t want to risk it!
The great thing about using a changing mat rather than having just one changing station, is that you can have multiple mats around the house. One will easily slide under the bed or beside the sofa. That means you can change nappies anywhere in the house rather than having to go upstairs every time.
It’s also worth having a nappy changing kit close by. I’ll write more on that in the post on equipment for changing (coming soon). Suffice to say for now, get a small basket or box which can hold some nappies, nappy bags, nappy cream, wipes or cotton wool pads and hand sanitiser. One basket per changing mat, and one changing mat per floor of the house makes everything a little easier.
To be honest, I’m not totally convinced that this is really essential. Feeding chairs do support you in an upright position and can enable soothing movement for an unsettled baby. However, you can also just stand and move or sit in a fixed chair and rock your torso yourself.
Some nursing chairs come with foot rests, which can definitely be helpful for those times when all you seem to do is feed your baby. Others are just really comfy for long feeding sessions. There is no right or wrong answer here. See what your budget can stretch too or make do with your favourite armchair.
Really, you’ll need one. A lot. Babies are messy little people. They will get poo and urine and milk and vomit over themselves and their clothes frequently. Having somewhere to throw the clothes needing a wash means you don’t have to go back and forth to the machine hundreds of times a day.
Co-sleeper e.g. Sleepyhead
A big cot can be very disconcerting for a baby. They’ve spent nine months inside mum, where they can only stretch a little before they meet the resistance of mum’s body. When they then get placed in a cold flat cot where they stretch and stretch and find nothing within their reach, they don’t like it!
Recent trends include the emergence of co-sleepers like the sleepyhead. These can be really useful as they seem to reassure the baby by fitting around him or her. You can have a look at them on Amazon here. If you decide to get one, it’s worth getting a couple of extra covers at the same time, as middle of the night accidents happen, and that’s not the time to run a fast wash and dry cycle on your washing machine!
However, before Sleepyhead arrived on the market and started pulling hundreds of pounds from new parents, midwives had other tricks which use items you already have in your house! Grab one of your big bath sheets or towels. Roll it into a long sausage shape and place that sausage in a U shape around the sides and head of the baby. Magic! Your baby reaches out and feels reassured by the towel being close, and you’ve not had to spend any pennies!
Many babies sleep better if there is a little light in the room. It also saves you from stumbling around the nursery in the dark as you answer their cries at 3 am. No more stubbed toes as you search for the new pack of wipes or nappy bags!
You can use any light for a night light. Just adjust the bulb wattage so that it isn’t too bright for you, and you’re all set. However, if you want to get a specific baby night light it might be worth looking at this one by The Gro Company.
I like this type of night light because it actually has another function, so saves you money! Two products for the price of one is definitely a bargain. It also serves as a room thermometer….
Now, as I’ve recommended a night light which doubles as a room thermometer, you might think this is an essential. If you feel unsure about the temperature of your room, or your house as a whole, a thermometer can give you concrete measurements of heat. This might be really reassuring for you, in which case, buy one and rest easy trusting that little LCD screen to guide you about open vs closed windows and one blanket or two.
A thermometer is not completely essential though. Every house I visit as a midwife has a different ambient temperature. Some people like their houses cooler and fresher. Others (like me!) want to be wrapped in warmth as soon as they cross the threshold. Babies learn to adapt to their environment. They can be dressed in extra or fewer layers depending on the air temperature.
If you want to keep a cooler house, just add an extra cardigan, babygrow or blanket to what baby is wearing. The general rule is one extra layer than you have. If you are wearing a shirt and jumper, baby will need a vest, babygrow and cardigan or jacket. When you are feeling really warm and just wearing a camisole top, baby might just need a vest on.
If you feel comfortable being guided by your own temperature and clothing levels, that’s brilliant. Just make sure you check a baby’s temperature by putting your hand on their chest or the back of the neck between their shoulder blades. Their hands and feet are always cold so don’t be guided by that.
If you feel too unsure about that way of checking, then use a room thermometer to keep the temperature within the recommended range so that you have one less thing to worry about. It’s entirely up to you!
Checking on baby is a natural instinct, so most parents like to have a baby monitor of some kind set up. This means they can check that little one is ok, even if they’re in a different room. It can be really useful if you have a big house, where you wouldn’t necessarily hear the baby crying in the nursery if you were in the living room.
It can also be useful if you are having a night in with friends, because being a parent doesn’t mean you can’t be sociable! As sociable and fun as the night gets, you’ll still be able to hear baby from the monitor even if someone is in the middle of a funny anecdote.
Sound and/or vision monitors
The type of monitor you buy is entirely up to you. You may want to just be able to hear when your baby stirs or cries. In that case a simple sound monitor is for you. You can go a little fancier by getting one with a camera. This enables you to see your baby from another room if you prefer.
If you and your partner have the same type of smart phone, you can set them up together as a baby monitor. A simple app will turn one phone into the transmitter that you leave in the nursery. The other phone stays with you and receives any sounds signals the first phone picks up. This certainly works wonders except for those of us who might be a little addicted to our phones. The idea of leaving it in the nursery or by the cot all evening might not be something you can contemplate!
Some parents prefer a little more functionality in their baby monitors. You can get some which have a pressure pad which lies underneath the cot sheet. This picks up on the breathing movements of the baby and can sound an alarm if these movements stop. You can even get monitors which clip onto your baby’s nappy or foot. These provide a continuous assessment of their breathing or blood oxygen levels.
*the Owlet baby blood oxygen monitor seems to only be available via Amazon.com at the moment. You would need to add in import charges if you decide you want one and live in the UK.
One great recommendation for helping babies to settle and sleep is white noise. This sort of background noise helps to mask any other household noises. Therefore that means baby won’t be woken by you flushing the toilet or watching the latest episode of your favourite TV show. It also helps to cover the noise of older siblings or even just adult conversations.
You can get really clever, and expensive, with noise machines. Some will play heartbeat sounds, so your baby thinks it is back in the womb. You can even get ones which upload your own baby’s heartbeat recorded from an antenatal scan! Some noise machines play nursery rhymes, whilst others go for nature sounds like rivers and rain.
There are quite a few white noise apps for smart phones too. Some of them are free, which also makes sense for any budget conscious parents out there. Unfortunately, as with the baby monitor apps, you do need to leave your phone with the baby. Those parents who like to check on social media or news or communication apps might find that hard.
The alternative is a tablet or laptop and a good wifi signal. Youtube has some great videos with white noise. I like this channel and use it when I’m writing. You can find rain falling on a car, or on a tin roof. Similarly, there are river sounds and thunderstorms. Lots of them have black screens too, if you don’t want to damage your device by playing it for 10 hours straight!
There we have it. My guide to what a nursery really needs, and a few tips to make it less of a strain on the purse strings. I hope you found it helpful. Above all, I hope you can see that babies don’t need extra special stuff although if you do feel more comfortable and reassured by having it that’s fine too.
Let me know what you think and any stuff you think I’ve missed by leaving a comment below.